I logged in to post something and realized that it has been exactly 5 months since my last post. I can hardly believe it. My life was just a little different then. So many beautiful things have happened and as I think about it, my breath is suspended for a moment as I realize what amazing things Jesus has given me.
For a brief second, I almost wished I could go back and live those months again. Not so that I could do them over, but so I could really enjoy all the beautiful moments instead of analyzing them. But I can't. And now that that second of wishing is passed, I realize I don't really want to. I have learned so much...about grace, about who Jesus truly is, about loving others, about the lie of fear, about myself. It's been overwhelming at times, but He never scolds me when I refuse to listen. He doesn't necessarily take away the agony I insist on putting myself through, but He just places a person, or a song, or a verse in my path to remind me of who I am in Him. I love that about Him. So gentle. So loving. So patient with my broken self.
I have fought Him out of fear. Fear of so many things. All of them lies of course. Because that's what fear is. A lie. Take the fear of "I'll never be good enough for Jesus". Now, this lie is a favorite of satan's. Because it has truth to it, but it leaves out the rest. Ya know, that part about Jesus never saying we had to be. He didn't ask for us to be good enough. In fact, He said that we never can be no matter how hard we try. That is why He had to come. Because it's only through Him that we'll ever have a chance of Heaven. Someone recently put it to me this way, "We can't impress God. He made us. He knows everything there is to know about us. How we work, what we think, what we want. So nothing surprises or impresses Him." "It's like a small child who makes the world's crappiest picture for his mom, then walks up to her and says, 'Here mom, it's a picture of you'. She doesn't throw it away and tell her child that he's not good enough and to try better. Because she loves her child and treasures that picture because he made it for her."
You see, we can't do anything that will impress God. All we can do is love Him with everything that is in us. His grace has taken care of the rest.
I know that most of this is just rambling on my part, and hopefully I'll make more sense next time. But if nothing else, I hope you take away this truth. This Christmas, get to know Jesus. LOVE Him with all that you are.
A great book that I am currently reading and loving is "Beautiful Outlaw" by John Eldredge. It's amazing. And because it is Christmas (and because I received an extra copy) I'm going to be having a Christmas Contest!!
The winner will get the book and maybe some other special something. I'll have details up tomorrow.
I will also have details about where to get it and info on free videos you can find at ransomedheart.com.
Hope you all have a beautiful grace-filled day:)
